Changing an unhappy relationship takes efforts from both parties in the relationship. Is one person is unwilling to works towards making the relationship better, then it’s not going to work. However, people follow by example – so if you are committed to changing your unhappy relationship, your partner may soon follow suit.
First to change your unhappy relationship, you need to pinpoint what is making the both of you unhappy. Is it something specific, or is there a deeper underlying problem? Maybe the problem has been going on for years in the relationship and you’re only now working to resolve it. Whatever it is, pinpoint it with your partner and work together as a team to resolve it. If you need third party help to scrutinize your relationship, there are many options available including asking good friends, family, and/or a marriage counselor.
Next you both need to come up with a plan for how you are going combat this unhappy relationship. Communication needs to be completely honest and open at this point, with both parties expressing their needs in the relationship. Other questions that should be addressed include: When did you first notice the relationship was having problems? What are the individual needs of each person in the relationship? How are they going to be addressed? How committed is each person to changing for the relationship? And so on.
As the relationship progresses, track how you are doing as a couple and see if you are still unhappy in a few weeks, a month, 6 months or maybe longer, and make changes along the way accordingly. An unhappy relationship that has been unhappy for a long time is not going to change overnight, unless both the partners work hard at it.
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