The Basics of Relationship Counseling
June 16, 2009 by Breakup Makeup
Filed under Marriage, Relationship Counseling
If Your Partner Doesn't Want To Go, It's Okay To Go Yourself
Relationship counseling is often a last resort for couples on the brink of the divorce. But some couples try relationship counseling early on when the problems first develop. Counseling is certainly something that a couple shouldn’t be afraid to try, even if the problems are relatively minor. Often, catching small problems early with counseling can prevent bigger problems in the future. Early counseling may even prevent a future breakup or divorce.
Today’s couples are more eager to try to new things, which makes relationship counseling a good option. Couples married years ago seem less likely to go for counseling or try new approaches, perhaps because it wasn’t something commonly done when they were younger. Very often marriages of 30 or 40 years now end in divorce, which is a shame because they’ll never know if relationship counseling could have helped save the marriage.
If you feel like you need relationship counseling, be sure to as your partner to go to counseling with you in a non-judgmental way. If you ask him or her in such a manner that it seems like you’re accusing them of being the problem then you’re likely to encounter resistance to the idea.
If you ask your partner to go to counseling because you have some issues you need to work on, they’re more likely to view the idea favorably. If your partner believes that your suggestion of relationship counseling means that the relationship isn’t perfect, and maybe even is doomed, calmly explain that that isn’t the cause.
Explain to your partner that you think you need some help to be able to contribute more to the relationship, and to learn how to be a better partner or spouse. Don’t accuse the other person of needing relationship counseling. Even if you believe that they are most of the problem, don’t say so. Once you’re in relationship counseling, they will be able to learn tips and techniques for being a better partner within the relationship, just as you will.
Don’t be afraid to suggest relationship counseling, whether you’ve been in the relationship for 3 months, 3 years or two decades. It’s never too early to try counseling to resolve problems. And it’s never too late to try to keep small problems from becoming big ones.
If your partner refuses to go to relationship counseling with you, go on your own. While relationship counseling obviously would work best if both of you go, you can go and work on things to improve yourself. If your partner sees you going to relationship counseling, curiosity will more likely then not entice them to go as well.
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Great article. I was able to show my husband this article and we both agreed to attend relationship counseling with a local counselor.