Learning how to forgive your partner is so important. This is especially true if you want to get back together.
Forgiveness will allow you to heal, forgive, let go and/or move on if you need to. Without complete forgiveness, you cannot completely heal. Your subconscious will always be troubled and all your future relationships may even be affected by your inability to learn how to forgive your partner. Silently, in the back of your mind, you are still holding anger, and whatever issues caused the break up will likely continue to have an effect on you, your partner and the relationship.
Keep these few points in mind if you are looking to seriously learn how to forgive your partner.
Look At Things Objectively
Often times when we make a mistake that hurts someone we love, it is not intentional but rather a spur of the moment decision in which we were not thinking straight. This doesn’t make it any better but keep in mind that maybe your partner just wasn’t thinking clearly due to something else that happened that day or something that has been weighing heavily on his mind. Being pre-occupied and not thinking clearly is a common everyday occurrence that life hands us sometimes. Put yourself in your partners shoes, people often make mistakes. If your partner cheated, maybe it’s because someone was lacking in the relationship.
Journal
One of the best ways to reevaluate a relationship problem is to journal. Journaling about the benefits and what you’ve learn about this experience. Express your feelings toward the relationship and then toward your partner. Ask yourself if your relationship is greater than the incident that caused the divide. Is the incident really worth a break up if you truly feel you have the right person by your side? If you want to reunite with your ex and rebuild your relationship you have to answer this question honestly.
Put Away Your Pride
Put away your pride and try to understand what your partner did. And see if you had any part of it. For example: If your ex ended up having dinner with a woman from his past and didn’t tell you, leaving you wondering about the rest of the night – was he trying to talk to you about his problem and you were constantly not available? Maybe he felt he needed to talk to someone that would not judge him so harshly and had a better chance of understanding his situation. Or maybe he just wanted to have female company and chat like in the old days. If your girlfriend went out with another guy. Are you too busy for her? Do you judge and treat your gilfriend o harshly?
Handling an apology
When your partner apologizes do not throw the apology in their face. Do not turn the apology session into an argument. More than likely you have already had that argument, now it is time to regain your composure, and even though you may not be ready to forgive at that time, be honest with your feelings and let your partner know how they have hurt you and how it is affecting you.
Safeguard Yourself
One of the most common feelings with forgiveness is that often a person thinks if they forgive it will leave an opening for repeat offenses. Forgiveness is not the same as condoning and you must remember that forgiveness benefits the forgiver more so then the one being forgiven. It is so that you can move on, heal, and learn to trust again.
Safeguard yourself against people in your life who are repeat offenders, as they are usually worth forgiving only once and are not healthy to have in your life anyway. Trying to forgive and letting go of your anger will enable you to forgive without opening yourself up to further abuse. It is not necessary to hold a grudge in order to safeguard yourself.
Forgive and Let Go
Forgiveness is literally good for the heart. The Journal of Behavioral Medicine found forgiveness to be associated with lower heart rate, blood pressure and stress relief. It has also been professionally associated with strengthened spirituality, conflict management and stress relief. All have a significant impact on overall health. Forgiveness not only restores positive thoughts, feelings and behaviors toward the offending party, but the benefits of forgiveness spill over to positive behaviors toward others because it is associated with volunteerism, donating to charity, and other altruistic behaviors.
We know it is not easy to forgive when our parade has been rained on. But do your best to find the silver lining and gain the wonderful benefits of forgiveness. If you want to reunite with your ex, forgiveness will put things back in place, at which point you both have to fix what is broken that caused the pain, and reach for an even more powerful, firm and fulfilling relationship.
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