One of the most difficult parts after a break up, especially if you want to get back together, is figuring out when you can call your ex girlfriend. You may be thinking “how do i call my ex girlfriend properly without her hanging up on me?!” Or “how do I call my ex girlfriend so that she calls me back next time?” We’re going to assume that you want to call your ex girlfriend because you want to win her back.
If you want to win your ex girlfriend back, as tough as it may be, the first thing you’ll have to do is cut all ties of communication between you and your ex yes this means no calling her. This also means no emailing, text-messaging or seeing her either. It doesn’t matter if she said she wanted to be friends, or if up until now you were keeping in touch with her. The quicker you can break contact with your ex, the faster you’ll get her back. Being friends with your ex is pure fantasy, and only leads to heartache and the pain of having to watch her date other guys. You’ll also risk the danger of falling so deep into the role as friend that you won’t ever be able to break free of it. You will be forced to sit back and watch as she goes on with her love life – without you in it.
So for now, totally disappearing from view is important. There may be times when you can’t avoid seeing her (such as if you’re co-workers, have the same circle of friends, etc…) so you’ll need to be careful to avoid all but the most casual contact. You want to make your ex girlfriend wonder where you went. You want to appear as if you have vanished almost mysteriously. This will all help to peak her curiosity and her get to miss you. She can’t miss you if you’re always in plain sight, so going away for a while will always cause her to think about you.
Look at it from her point of view: she’s seen and heard from you every single day. Now all of a sudden you’re no where to be seen. Where did you go? Have you found someone new? She’ll worry that you’ve totally moved on, and even worse, you did it before she got a chance to. Over time she’ll even question the break up: maybe you didn’t need her as much as she thought you did? By doing not contacting your ex, you’ve entered her brain. You’ll be stuck there in the back of her mind, until she can reconcile where you are and what you’re thinking. You’ll stay there until she calls you, or your ex sends you an email. The next time you contact your ex, things will be a lot different than if you’d just hung around and stayed in touch with her every day.
In the meantime, get on with your life. See friends, pick up old hobbies, and have fun without her. You’ll be enjoying some time to get your head clear, but you’ll also be giving your ex the opportunity to miss you. As time goes by she’ll look to reestablish communication with you in some sort of subtle way, just to see what you’re up to. It might be an innocent email, or maybe something more sneaky like sending a friend of hers to feel you out. In effect, she wants to know you’re still “around”. Part of any good relationship safety net is knowing you can always get the person you dumped back, whenever you want. But by going away you’ve taken that away from her. She doesn’t know what to think, and is suddenly a lot more interested in what you’re doing.
Removing yourself from this position of neediness is one of the biggest steps you can take toward winning your ex back. After a while without any contact, your ex will start to look at the break up differently. She’ll be forced to re-examine her feelings for you, and this will cause her to question the break up. When your ex finally does see of hear from you again she’s going to be thrilled! Odds are she’ll be missing you at this point big time, so it’ll be a pretty simple move to invite her out for coffee or lunch. This will be your first major milestone toward getting your ex back, and you’ll need to take it slow. But it’s the best way to go about getting back together with your girlfriend: making her need and want you instead.
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