how-to-save-your-marriage-after-a-fiasco

Maybe you’ve been married one year, seven years or twenty two years.  It doesn’t matter.  You’ve now hit a major roadblock in your marriage and you need to learn how to save your marriage from divorce.  For many couples it wasn’t just one event that lead to a problematic marriage, but rather many little things that added up.  The minor issues left ignored, turned into real problems later on and down the road.

Don’t worry though many couples reunite even after they get divorced.  Some will begin dating again or just seeing each other casually.  Some stay friends, and end up getting back together later in life.  Some couples, have such a hard time with the back and forth of the kids, the bickering, the sadness, the change in lifestyle for them and their kids, and raising kids as a single parent, that they find themselves wondering if the divorce was really worth it.

Learning how to save your marriage from divorce may take some time, but when you think about it, so is the whole divorce procedure, or starting from scratch as a single parent, or being single again.  Etc.  Here are some things to keep in mind, to help you save your marriage and avoid divorce.

If You Have Children

Raising kids can strain on any marriage, however you can raise your children and still time for each other and yourself.  Simply learn the areas involving raising kids so that you can start to work on issues as early as possible.  By the  time they are toddlers and preschoolers they will have learned how to play independently, how not to interrupt when their parents are talking and how to say goodbye without screaming when their parents go out for a while etc.  I cannot tell you the difference these areas can make in the enjoyment of raising kids and on a marriage.

If you have older children, let them know you are having marriage problems and you can even discuss the problem as a family.  This is especially helpful if your children are mature and have valuable insight that you two may not be able to see.

Overcoming Problems

There is no surprise that the way men handle things and the way women handle things is usually very different.  Some repress their feelings while others grieve out loud and don’t hold back.  A man needs to be able to understand women to some degree and the same is true of the reverse.  Take time to go back to the basics and learn about each other.

It is highly advisable that a couple learns what to expect from their partner when problems arise and predict how they will react and behave.  Learning this can help you take care not to make things worse and also help to be prepared for what you will experience when hard times hit.  For example, if you know that when you and your wife argue she a tendency to get very heated up and agitated, then don’t start off the conversation with some smart-alecky comment, or immediately put her in the hot seat.  This will only anger her more.

Commit and Support

Discuss with each that you are going to get through this together.  Be positive, own the decision you have made and know that many couples around the world are in the same position and many couples DO get through it for an even better relationship then before.  Be a team and support each other’s weaknesses.  When one of you is down the other should understand and help with whatever load there is to carry.

Surround Yourself With Friends and Family

Neither of you need to go through this alone.  As mentioned you can get your children to give valuable insight.  Find good friends and family members to give encouragement, love and understanding.  They should be people who have gone through something similar, who are genuine, and not people who will discuss your personal business all around town.

Get Support

It is strongly suggested that counselling be obtained to help the couple get through the tough times and rebuild their relationship, hopefully having learned more about themselves, each other and how to be a first-rate partner.  This is especially true if you have young children.  Regardless of the type of marriage you have, or your religion, marriage counselling is a step that needs to be taken and taken seriously.

Marriage is a sacred bond between people.  Although vows are made, people are not perfect – mistakes happen.  You don’t have to end your marriage or your relationship.  Look at these problems in your marriage as a huge opportunity to grow closer together.  Learning  how to save your marriage from divorce after a large problem will help you both to build a stronger foundation in marriage and family, and allow your children feel secure that their parents will stay together.  Good luck.

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How To Forgive Your Partner

by Breakup Makeup

how-to-forgive-your-partner

Learning how to forgive your partner is so important.  This is especially true if you want to get back together.

Forgiveness will allow you to heal, forgive, let go and/or move on if you need to.  Without complete forgiveness, you cannot completely heal.  Your subconscious will always be troubled and all your future relationships may even be affected by your inability to learn how to forgive your partner.  Silently, in the back of your mind, you are still holding anger, and whatever issues caused the break up will likely continue to have an effect on you, your partner and the relationship.

Keep these few points in mind if you are looking to seriously learn how to forgive your partner.

Look At Things Objectively

Often times when we make a mistake that hurts someone we love, it is not intentional but rather a spur of the moment decision in which we were not thinking straight.  This doesn’t make it any better but keep in mind that maybe your partner just wasn’t thinking clearly due to something else that happened that day or something that has been weighing heavily on his mind.  Being pre-occupied and not thinking clearly is a common everyday occurrence that life hands us sometimes.  Put yourself in your partners shoes, people often make mistakes.  If your partner cheated, maybe it’s because someone was lacking in the relationship.

Journal

One of the best ways to reevaluate a relationship problem is to journal.  Journaling about the benefits and what you’ve learn about this experience.  Express your feelings toward the relationship and then toward your partner.  Ask yourself if your relationship is greater than the incident that caused the divide.  Is the incident really worth a break up if you truly feel you have the right person by your side?  If you want to reunite with your ex and rebuild your relationship you have to answer this question honestly.

Put Away Your Pride

Put away your pride and try to understand what your partner did.  And see if you had any part of it.  For example: If your ex ended up having dinner with a woman from his past and didn’t tell you, leaving you wondering about the rest of the night – was he trying to talk to you about his problem and you were constantly not available?  Maybe he felt he needed to talk to someone that would not judge him so harshly and had a better chance of understanding his situation.  Or maybe he just wanted to have female company and chat like in the old days.  If your girlfriend went out with another guy.  Are you too busy for her?  Do you judge and treat your gilfriend o harshly?

Handling an apology

When your partner apologizes do not throw the apology in their face.  Do not turn the apology session into an argument.  More than likely you have already had that argument, now it is time to regain your composure, and even though you may not be ready to forgive at that time, be honest with your feelings and let your partner know how they have hurt you and how it is affecting you.

Safeguard Yourself

One of the most common feelings with forgiveness is that often a person thinks if they forgive it will leave an opening for repeat offenses. Forgiveness is not the same as condoning and you must remember that forgiveness benefits the forgiver more so then the one being forgiven. It is so that you can move on, heal, and learn to trust again.

Safeguard yourself against people in your life who are repeat offenders, as they are usually worth forgiving only once and are not healthy to have in your life anyway.  Trying to forgive and letting go of your anger will enable you to forgive without opening yourself up to further abuse.  It is not necessary to hold a grudge in order to safeguard yourself.

Forgive and Let Go

Forgiveness is literally good for the heart. The Journal of Behavioral Medicine found forgiveness to be associated with lower heart rate, blood pressure and stress relief.  It has also been professionally associated with strengthened spirituality, conflict management and stress relief.  All have a significant impact on overall health. Forgiveness not only restores positive thoughts, feelings and behaviors toward the offending party, but the benefits of forgiveness spill over to positive behaviors toward others because it is associated with volunteerism, donating to charity, and other altruistic behaviors.

We know it is not easy to forgive when our parade has been rained on. But do your best to find the silver lining and gain the wonderful benefits of forgiveness. If you want to reunite with your ex, forgiveness will put things back in place, at which point you both have to fix what is broken that caused the pain, and reach for an even more powerful, firm and fulfilling relationship.

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How Do I Call My Ex Girlfriend?

July 20, 2009

One of the most difficult parts after a break up, especially if you want to get back together, is figuring out when you can call your ex girlfriend.  You may be thinking “how do i call my ex girlfriend properly without her hanging up on me?!”  Or “how do I call my ex girlfriend so [...]

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How To Make Your Ex Girlfriend Want You Back

July 20, 2009

Today we’re going to explain how to make your ex girlfriend want you back.  Learning how to make your girlfriend want you back, isn’t hard as long as you know the proper protocol to follow. Getting dumped by your girlfriend puts you in a very weird and awkward position. You want her back, but you’re [...]

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Does My Ex Girlfriend Want Me Back

July 20, 2009

Are you trying to win back your ex girlfriend but you’re not even sure if your girlfriend wants you back?  Before you can fix your break up, you’ll need to know how to identify the signs that your ex wants you back.  The following guidelines can be used to recognize the signs and signals that [...]

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How to Get Your Ex Girl Friend Back

July 18, 2009

Were you trying to get your girlfriend back from the break up, but now she’s dating someone else? While things might look hopeless at this point, we can help you to get her back. You can get your girlfriend back from her new boyfriends from some proven and effective strategies that you should implement immediately. [...]

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Get Your ExBoyfriend Back – What Not to Do

July 18, 2009

If your ex broke up with you, getting him back can often be hard. But while it’s a tricky process, there are always ways to fix a break up and to get your ex boyfriend to want you back… no matter what the circumstances might be. Winning back your boyfriend is all about making the [...]

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5 Things Not To Do To Piss Off An Ex Girlfriend

July 18, 2009

Breaking up is hard enough, but if you’re trying to win back an ex girlfriend you’ve got an added responsibility i.e. not piss her off.  Not only do you have to make the right opening moves, but you also need to know how to avoid the wrong ones. One big mistake could cost you any [...]

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Effective Methods To Make Your Ex Girlfriend Want You Back

July 17, 2009

Any type of break up is hard, especially one you didn’t want to end. Even if your ex dumped you, you can still make your ex girlfriend want you back. Even if you might think the situation is hopeless, with the right combination of moves, words, and actions you can make your ex girlfriend want [...]

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6 Ways To Tell If Your Ex Boyfriend Wants You Back

July 17, 2009

If your ex boyfriend wants you back he will give off signs and hints that will be directed just for you.  He wants you to see these, and he’s testing out how you feel about giving your relationship another shot.  Other times though, even if your ex boyfriend wants you back badly, might be a [...]

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